Mentoring with acceptance
Thursday, February 26, 2015 7:00 AM
Acceptance, according to human psychology, is a person’s approval to the actuality of a situation, whether it be positive, negative, or indifferent, without making an effort to change it or to even protest against it simply because you don’t like. The theory is close in meaning to ‘acquiescence’, which is derived from the Latin word ‘acquiescere’, which means to remain at rest.
I mentor people of all ages, culture, credentials, sexual preferences, spiritual levels, and religious denominations. What I’ve discovered is that many of them have a lot of things in common, but in particular this thing: they want to BE accepted for who they are -OR- who they are becoming. Children want to BE at rest (accepted) by and with their parents; grandparents with their grandchildren; a husband by his wife; a student with their peers; or an employee with an employer. When we are not at rest, the inclination of rejection lends a great void. This causes a person to think, “What is wrong me?” “Am I not good enough?” “This makes me feel so alone!” “I just want better for me! Why can’t they just accept that?” All these thoughts are legitimate thoughts that yields legitimate feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and self-crucifixion.
Something that comes to my mind about acceptance is that all too often the person who is in need of it, who seeks and desires it, has a very difficult press to accept themselves. They can attempt to love (accept) others, but at the same time they do not love (accept) themselves. Why? They have learned how to not love themselves. They have learned how to cuss themselves out and to beat themselves down. So then, a person who needs acceptance longs to receive what they don’t know (and have not learned) how to give. And, if they don’t have it to give it (because they don’t know it and have not learned it), I compel you to take a moment to imagine the adverse scenarios of giving something good to someone who isn’t capable of taking care of it. SELAH.
There is a scripture I have come to admire in Matthew 22:37-40 (KJV): “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Hmmm! Love thy neighbour as thyself? Who is the closest neighbour to you? You are! You are you very nearest neighbour in heart, soul, mind, and body. How do you love you? Do you hug your soul in the morning and express how wonderfully and fearfully made you are? Do you take a peek in the mirror and tell your heart that you are handsome today? Have you told yourself, lately, that you love you?
When we get this self-love to its maximum potential, then we will begin to possess the ability to accept ourselves as we will BE living in the second command of pure divine love: love thy neighbour as thyself. SELAH.
Angela is a Mompreneur and the founder of Top Kids Mentoring Program. The program currently serves the West side of Kokomo, Howard County, IN. For more information on how to get your Top Kid involved, to submit questions to be answered in our column, or to connect with and support the program, please call us at (765) 889-2802.