I think it’s safe to say that we can all agree that being a mom (or a parent in general) makes you feel crazy. No one ever listens to you, your naughty one year old puppy is usually your best behaved child, you are always in a rush to get everything done, and the ever growing pressures of being a “Pinterest mom” begins to consume you.

But have you reached the ultimate level of children induced crazy when you start LOOKING crazy? I’m not talking about wearing stained clothes, having unwashed hair, or just generally looking frazzled. I am talking about actual physical changes that are seemingly permanent.

Let’s start with the face.  The face is really what sustains the most damage, and I imagine it’s because your face is the biggest victim of kid related mayhem. Your nose smells some the vilest smells that you can’t even fathom how someone so cute could produce something so horrific.

If your kids are older and in sports, your car takes on an everlasting smell of dirty feet. Your eyes see sights that will never be unseen: human waste smeared all over the place like it’s finger paint; your living room destroyed like a bunch of banshees came through your house just minutes after you thoroughly cleaned it from floor to ceiling; every type of liquid (specifically red) that can be found in your home spilled all over your new rug (and it’s always on the edge that rug – never the hardwood 3 inches away); destroyed toys you JUST thoughtfully purchased, as if you’re living with some sort of pack of rabid animals. The list can just go on and on.

Next are your ears. Your ears have withstood screams at decibels you didn’t know existed just inches away from your head. You have endured the sound of your children relentlessly fighting over anything and everything. You have had to listen to Caillou’s whining voice, which could be the worst offense of them all.

As you can see, your face goes through a lot of trauma, so of course there will be physical repercussions. I was glancing at myself in the mirror not too long ago, only to notice I now have a vein that perpetually sticks out like a sore thumb over my left temple. If that’s not bad enough, one particular section of my right eyebrow has gone completely haywire.  Those eyebrow hairs have a complete mind of their own and refuse to be tamed.

I have scowl lines around my mouth, opposed to frown lines. It’s like every quadrant of my face has turned against me. Don’t forget about the hair. Many parents find themselves having to tweeze out those pesky grey hairs more and more. My hair has completely skipped the grey stage and has gone straight to 25% old-lady-Rose-from-Titanic white. Thanks, kids.  I just pretend they are platinum highlights.

Now let’s talk about the rest of the body. Your back has probably started to ache from carrying your kids around like you’re some type of mommy opossum, so your posture is just gone. Even the deepest tissue massage can’t fix this.

Remember those beautifully manicured hands you used to have? If you can find the time to even do your nails at this point of your life, they don’t stay looking nice for long because you now wash 100 sippy cups a day.

Your feet will never stop hurting from frantically trying to keep your household running and your little people alive, and may even boast puncture wounds from stepping on LEGOS or Hot Wheels.  

I encourage you to embrace your newfound crazy mom look. Find a new shade of lip stain that will complement those scowl lines. Although our bodies have turned against us and we constantly feel like we are being pushed to the brink of insanity, we are all in this together, and crazy never looked so good.

Abbie Miller is a mother, technical writer, avid sewist, and an Independent Consultant for Usborne Books & More.